A voluntary benching that is. At the end of today`s ball hockey I let the lads know that I will be taking the next couple Sundays off and will take a short leave of absence from the game. I struggled through the first half of the season and,unlike previous years,playing has become more of a chore than fun. Since coming back from the holiday break I`m just not enjoying the game and have become increasingly surly during the matches.
Last week I was very frustrated at my play and that of some other players. I had become vocal in my displeasure and seemed to lose my focus that it is "fun competitive" and not "league competitive". In today`s matches it was far worse. I just couldn`t to get into the game and inherited the weaker squad which was a bad combination. We got shelled!
Down 6-0 early in the first game I soon became discouraged as five of the goals were such that I didn`t have much chance. This got me cranky early and shifted my focus even farther away from defending the goal. We ralled somewhat but ended up losing the first match 10-7.
The second game was a debacle. Down 2 - 0 in the first 5 minutes with both goals the result of 2 on 1 rushes I lost it and began complaining about the defensive play of my team. We lost 10-3. What made it worse was I played pretty good in close and stopped a couple breakaways and good scoring chances from the slot but left in four weak long shots from one particular player. He definitely got in my head and scored several more goals in the third game as well. That game ended in a 10-6 loss.I just couldn`t stop his shots? My nerves! My record for the second half of the season stands at a paltry 1-6. Maybe I should stop counting...lol.
I think the deciding factor today was I found myself looking at the clock not to see how much playing time was left but rather hoping to see no playing time left. I simply didn`t want to be there.My head is not in the right place lately.I play hockey for fun and it has become less fun as the season progresses.I`m hoping a two week break might be theraputic.
I am playing Thursday night(and possibly again the week after)for another group whose goalie is injured. I`m also hoping the change will be good and gets the fire back in the belly and out of my head.
So my plans now for the next two Sundays will be to head to the gym and work on my running and strength training.If someone would have told me in the past I would forsake playing ball hockey to go treadmill running I would have laughed at them. Go figure? The times are changing.